To dilly-dally is divine.
OK, this is really sick. A couple of psychos have invented a new food product – Hufu – that mimics the taste and texture of human flesh. The Hufu (like tofu) website calls it “the healthy human flesh alternative” for recovering cannibals or anyone who wants to do a Hannibal Lector. A single serving costs US$11.50 through the website but is currently out of stock.
And no, apparently, human flesh does not taste like chicken. According to the FAQs posted on the website, people meat is kinda like beef but “a little sweeter in taste and a little softer in texture”. Farking hell, they also have a recipe section where you can mimic classic cannibal delights, such as Aztec human stew and the ever-popular Dr Lector’s liver with fava beans.
What next, chocolatey poop?
Somebody hand me a bucket. Eeks, I mean pass, not hand.
And no, apparently, human flesh does not taste like chicken. According to the FAQs posted on the website, people meat is kinda like beef but “a little sweeter in taste and a little softer in texture”. Farking hell, they also have a recipe section where you can mimic classic cannibal delights, such as Aztec human stew and the ever-popular Dr Lector’s liver with fava beans.
What next, chocolatey poop?
Somebody hand me a bucket. Eeks, I mean pass, not hand.
This tune has been stuck inside my head since Sunday - Manamana by the Muppets. Remember it? I. Can't. Get. It. Out. Of. My. Head. Saw it on teevee two weeks ago, then it was someone's ringtone and last week, my next-door neighbour was whistling it in his bedroom (the walls are reeeally thin here, but that's another story). Gnahhh!! Though it does bring back fond, misty-eyed memories of Miss Piggy throttling all the other Mups. Watch the video here.
So then I remembered Fraggle Rock. Fraggle Rock!! Eeeee, that was such a long time ago. Download the theme song, play it loud and sing. Then dance like them, arms akimbo. Woooo!
So then I remembered Fraggle Rock. Fraggle Rock!! Eeeee, that was such a long time ago. Download the theme song, play it loud and sing. Then dance like them, arms akimbo. Woooo!
Dance your cares away
Worry's for another day
Let the music play
Down at Fraggle Rock!
(doom doom doom)
Why is a spork a spork and not a foon?
Warning: The following comments might offend Christians and vegans. Especially Christian vegans. Many of my friends are Christians and/or vegans. I just thought these were, er, cool.
On to more gripping stuff. How well do you 'know' your partner, in the Biblical sense? Take the Bible Quiz on Sexual Love to find out. Bet you didn't know "the Song of Solomon teaches that lovemaking helps both men and women sleep better". Or that "the Bible portrays the older wife as an exciting lover who offers her husband something a different woman every night cannot". Its answers will shock you. Shock you, I tell you!
Then there's PETA, the rabidly scary paint-abusing vegetarians. So they've got their Lettuce Ladies wearing nothing but lettuce leaves to entice people to sign up. But did you know they also have their dead-sexy male version? Yup, look no further than the Broccoli Boys. Ogle! At Bruce's muscles! Gasp! At Ricardo's soy wieners! Marvel! At fair Casey's shirt-sleeve tanline! Oooooo, these vegan boys sure know how to have fun.
Warning: The following comments might offend Christians and vegans. Especially Christian vegans. Many of my friends are Christians and/or vegans. I just thought these were, er, cool.
On to more gripping stuff. How well do you 'know' your partner, in the Biblical sense? Take the Bible Quiz on Sexual Love to find out. Bet you didn't know "the Song of Solomon teaches that lovemaking helps both men and women sleep better". Or that "the Bible portrays the older wife as an exciting lover who offers her husband something a different woman every night cannot". Its answers will shock you. Shock you, I tell you!
Then there's PETA, the rabidly scary paint-abusing vegetarians. So they've got their Lettuce Ladies wearing nothing but lettuce leaves to entice people to sign up. But did you know they also have their dead-sexy male version? Yup, look no further than the Broccoli Boys. Ogle! At Bruce's muscles! Gasp! At Ricardo's soy wieners! Marvel! At fair Casey's shirt-sleeve tanline! Oooooo, these vegan boys sure know how to have fun.
Who wants a slice of dee's old-fashioned banana cake? No? Good, 'cos I'm going to try the recipe later this evening and am using mich as a guinea pig. She doesn't know it yet bwahahaa.
Meanwhile, sexual moments in video game history kept me entertained for about 15 minutes. Didn't know most of the games but still... the sight of 'primitive' tomfoolery was quite something. Eyeopeners were Toilet Kids, Volleyball! and Power Instinct 2.
In a kind-of-similar vein, this next item provided much mirth but, alas, little understanding for me and tish (who kindly sent me this recently) since D&D is not a favourite past-time.
Bohemian RPG
By Francisco Rangel and Cam Boyes
/(To the tune of " Bohemian Rhapsody " by Queen)/
It's not the real life. It's just an RPG.
Caught in a dungeon. My escape from reality.
Open your guide, look up dwarven stats and see,
I'm just a fighter, magic is not for me
Because it's easy loot, easy gold, level high, level low
Any way the dice rolls really really matters to me, to me
Mama, just killed an orc. Swung my axe against his head
Rolled an 18, now he's dead.
Mama, I just rolled a one
My boots of speed won't let me run away
Mama, ooh, running low on my supplies
I'm running out of food and out of arrows
Gotta run, gotta fight, hope my sword and shield don't shatter
Too late, my dwarf is dumb
His wisdom's down the drain, his intelligence is lame
Got no constitution, charisma's null
Gotta run, but my dexterity's uncouth
Mama, ooh, I don't like this die
I sometimes wish I'd rolled a much better char
I see a little amulet-o on the ground
Is it cursed? Is it cursed? Where'd the rest of my clan go?
Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very fright'ning me
Magic Missile (Magic Missile) Magic Missile (Magic Missile)
Magic Missile, Thunderbolt
I'd better go. I'm so alone now, monsters attack me
He's just a poor dwarf, playing this RPG.
Fighting alone with this monstrosity
Easy kill, easy blow, let my level grow
Experience! No, your level will not grow.
(Let it grow!) Experience! My growth rate is too slow.
(Let it grow!) Experience! I want to wield my bow.
(Wield your bow) Let my crystal glow.
(Let it glow) Land a crushing blow. (Crushing blow)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
(Oh, mama mia, mama mia) I can't fail this saving throw.
Beelzebub is a demon and he's after me, help me, HELP ME!
So you think you can beat me by rolling a five
You can't harm me, if you did, I'd just get revived.
Oh, slay me, no way that you can slay me
Just gotta take out, just gotta take out my new spear
Rolling really matters, dice are what you see
Rolling really matters,
Rolling really matters to me
Any way the game goes
Meanwhile, sexual moments in video game history kept me entertained for about 15 minutes. Didn't know most of the games but still... the sight of 'primitive' tomfoolery was quite something. Eyeopeners were Toilet Kids, Volleyball! and Power Instinct 2.
In a kind-of-similar vein, this next item provided much mirth but, alas, little understanding for me and tish (who kindly sent me this recently) since D&D is not a favourite past-time.
Bohemian RPG
By Francisco Rangel and Cam Boyes
/(To the tune of " Bohemian Rhapsody " by Queen)/
It's not the real life. It's just an RPG.
Caught in a dungeon. My escape from reality.
Open your guide, look up dwarven stats and see,
I'm just a fighter, magic is not for me
Because it's easy loot, easy gold, level high, level low
Any way the dice rolls really really matters to me, to me
Mama, just killed an orc. Swung my axe against his head
Rolled an 18, now he's dead.
Mama, I just rolled a one
My boots of speed won't let me run away
Mama, ooh, running low on my supplies
I'm running out of food and out of arrows
Gotta run, gotta fight, hope my sword and shield don't shatter
Too late, my dwarf is dumb
His wisdom's down the drain, his intelligence is lame
Got no constitution, charisma's null
Gotta run, but my dexterity's uncouth
Mama, ooh, I don't like this die
I sometimes wish I'd rolled a much better char
I see a little amulet-o on the ground
Is it cursed? Is it cursed? Where'd the rest of my clan go?
Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very fright'ning me
Magic Missile (Magic Missile) Magic Missile (Magic Missile)
Magic Missile, Thunderbolt
I'd better go. I'm so alone now, monsters attack me
He's just a poor dwarf, playing this RPG.
Fighting alone with this monstrosity
Easy kill, easy blow, let my level grow
Experience! No, your level will not grow.
(Let it grow!) Experience! My growth rate is too slow.
(Let it grow!) Experience! I want to wield my bow.
(Wield your bow) Let my crystal glow.
(Let it glow) Land a crushing blow. (Crushing blow)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
(Oh, mama mia, mama mia) I can't fail this saving throw.
Beelzebub is a demon and he's after me, help me, HELP ME!
So you think you can beat me by rolling a five
You can't harm me, if you did, I'd just get revived.
Oh, slay me, no way that you can slay me
Just gotta take out, just gotta take out my new spear
Rolling really matters, dice are what you see
Rolling really matters,
Rolling really matters to me
Any way the game goes
I haven't had a cigarette in 9 days. It's strangely less difficult than I thought - I feel a little yucky about the smell and taste now. Only problem is when I crave for one, I gnaw on chocolate. A lot.
Quick one: The world's smallest political quiz to accurately test your political inclinations in less than a minute. I'm a conservative libertarian ie. fence-straddler and indecisive as heck.
And did you hear about the Scottish engineer who shot water from a fire extinguisher hose up his friend's ass after a few drinks? Described as "horseplay gone wrong", the prank has left the friend a little worse for wear - he now has to wear a colostomy bag. No shit.
Quick one: The world's smallest political quiz to accurately test your political inclinations in less than a minute. I'm a conservative libertarian ie. fence-straddler and indecisive as heck.
And did you hear about the Scottish engineer who shot water from a fire extinguisher hose up his friend's ass after a few drinks? Described as "horseplay gone wrong", the prank has left the friend a little worse for wear - he now has to wear a colostomy bag. No shit.
Want boh liao? How about the Australian Rock Paper Scissors Championship in August, better known as "scissors, paper, stone!". Got strategy ok, don't play play. Among the most popular moves, the SMH reports, is the avalanche - stone, stone, stone. Hammer the bastard to death lah, I say. Mine was previously paper, stone, paper. Here's the world's official site.
Okay then. Let's play a game of "What the fuck does this mean?". Here are some choice phrases found in journal articles now being studied for the exams:
- "the Damocletian sword of trade sanctions"
- "this approach is Procrustean: it smacks of Cartesian, top-down legal symmetry, wonderful for lawyers and Utopian constructors of 'global governance'"
- and, my favourite, "the stigmata of Capitalism".
Now let's try to use these in daily speech. How about:
"Fuck off, you Procrustean, Cartesian AND Utopian chee bais! I got my Damocletian sword of trade sanctions and I'm not scared to use it!! Chochok you with the stigmata of Capitalism then you know!!"
Or just the word Procrustean: "I'm going to order the crab linguine; I'm Procrustean."
Try it. Damn entertaining. The best attempt gets an air-kiss from me.
Okay then. Let's play a game of "What the fuck does this mean?". Here are some choice phrases found in journal articles now being studied for the exams:
- "the Damocletian sword of trade sanctions"
- "this approach is Procrustean: it smacks of Cartesian, top-down legal symmetry, wonderful for lawyers and Utopian constructors of 'global governance'"
- and, my favourite, "the stigmata of Capitalism".
Now let's try to use these in daily speech. How about:
"Fuck off, you Procrustean, Cartesian AND Utopian chee bais! I got my Damocletian sword of trade sanctions and I'm not scared to use it!! Chochok you with the stigmata of Capitalism then you know!!"
Or just the word Procrustean: "I'm going to order the crab linguine; I'm Procrustean."
Try it. Damn entertaining. The best attempt gets an air-kiss from me.
What songs are killing me now: Hurt by Johnny Cash, Against All Odds by The Postal Service, Music When The Lights Go Out by The Libertines, You Can't Always Get What You Want by The Rolling Stones.
What I'm reading now: Awakenings by Pramoedya Ananta Toer. Politics of the World Economy vol. 1, p. 5.
By the way, this thread killed me too. Indie-Yuppies!! The symptoms are there and they're all people we know! Including you! And me! Or that's what I'd like/hate to think.
And then ah... You know how your brain sometimes creates these brilliant imaginary movie lines from out of nowhere? Well. I was cooking some oats when these brilliant imaginary movie lines came out of my mouth.
What I'm reading now: Awakenings by Pramoedya Ananta Toer. Politics of the World Economy vol. 1, p. 5.
By the way, this thread killed me too. Indie-Yuppies!! The symptoms are there and they're all people we know! Including you! And me! Or that's what I'd like/hate to think.
And then ah... You know how your brain sometimes creates these brilliant imaginary movie lines from out of nowhere? Well. I was cooking some oats when these brilliant imaginary movie lines came out of my mouth.
Some character in some movie after spilling some coffee: Aw, for Fuck's sake!
(In barges our bellowing protagonist )
Protagonist: (Bellows) Who is this Fuck whose sake you speak of?
Bring him to me!!!
I don't care! I think it's damn bloody brilliant. Or not. Feel free to disagree. Ah well, enough dilly-dallying. I'm off to study the politics of sugar tariffs.
I have no idea how to begin. Do you try to be funny, create witty repartee, smart-ass observations in your first post on your first blog? Hmmm. Well, we'll see how this goes then.
And this is how: Two seconds ago, my housemate's new man stumbled down the stairs just as this blog is being born, mumbling something about using the toilet. Like I give a shit. One hour ago, they adjourned to her room. Cue: Turning up the volume on the radio downstairs and pretending to be deep in thought on how to rule the Internet safely.
Of course, I wouldn't be here today without the help of exams in the next two weeks. Creating a blog is a great way to shirk responsibility. Am getting good at this of late.
Watched Australia's Last Man Standing; gosh, it's a real stinker. Tonight's episode, where one of the three dudes runs into his copulating parents, jolted my memory and made my throat go urrrghhghhish. The Melbourne trip with the parents to visit the brother in March and sharing the bed with my mother. As soon as we say goodnight and drift off to sleep, I distinctly hear my bro's neighbours doing the hokey pokey. I cough and go red in the dark; my mother stirs and tsks-tsks. I fall asleep, next to my mother, just as the second-floor neighbour yelps his loudest. Good one, Universe. And there is absolutely NO need to go all Freud on me, okay? Okay.
And this is how: Two seconds ago, my housemate's new man stumbled down the stairs just as this blog is being born, mumbling something about using the toilet. Like I give a shit. One hour ago, they adjourned to her room. Cue: Turning up the volume on the radio downstairs and pretending to be deep in thought on how to rule the Internet safely.
Of course, I wouldn't be here today without the help of exams in the next two weeks. Creating a blog is a great way to shirk responsibility. Am getting good at this of late.
Watched Australia's Last Man Standing; gosh, it's a real stinker. Tonight's episode, where one of the three dudes runs into his copulating parents, jolted my memory and made my throat go urrrghhghhish. The Melbourne trip with the parents to visit the brother in March and sharing the bed with my mother. As soon as we say goodnight and drift off to sleep, I distinctly hear my bro's neighbours doing the hokey pokey. I cough and go red in the dark; my mother stirs and tsks-tsks. I fall asleep, next to my mother, just as the second-floor neighbour yelps his loudest. Good one, Universe. And there is absolutely NO need to go all Freud on me, okay? Okay.