Here's a Random Music Meme/Thingy stolen from the Internet. Just click on the Shuffle button in your iPod (of course I'm ignoring all other MP3 player users) and use it to randomly answer the following questions. Hysterical, yet, strangely insightful.

1. What do you think of me, Random Music Player?
When The Stars Go Blue - Ryan Adams. Awww, my iPod's so tweet.

2. Will I have a happy life?
Portia - Throwing Muses. It's a happy, shimmy-ing type of song. Something about parties and zoos. "I am unshaken", goes the chorus. Groovy.

3. What do my friends really think of me?
My Friends - Red Hot Chili Peppers. We're all miserable old sods is what I gathered.

4. What does my S.O. think of me?
Jimmy Jazz - The Clash. Considering I don't have an S.O., I'm taking this to mean that The One for me will be a punk-saxophonist named, er, Jimmy.

5. Do people secretly lust after me?
Sometimes - My Bloody Valentine. Whaddya mean, sometimes???

6. How can I make myself happy?
Embraceable You - Ella Fitzgerald. What, you mean, like, self-love? Cough.

7. What should I do with my life?
Watershed - Foo Fighters, who tell me to stick it to the mailman. And something about swimming and pissing. In a watershed. OK then.

8. Why must life be so full of pain?
Rifles - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Aptly moody song for a depressing sort of question. Bastard war-mongerers.

9. How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
Pocket Knife - PJ Harvey. Oooo, kinky advice there from the queen of kink herself. But I think I'll pass, thanks.

10. Can you give me some advice?
Through The Never - Metallica. "All that is, ever, ever was, will be ever, twisting, turning, through the never." Hahaha.

11. What do you think happiness is?
Here Comes A Soul Saver - The Charlatans. Nice. Music as soul balm is good enough for me.

12. Do you have any advice to give over the next few hours/days?
Fool - Rae & Christian. Excellent word of wisdom.

13. Will I die happy?
All I Want Is You - U2. Erk.

And the winner for best answer is..... METALLICA! For their very philosophical heavy-metal guide to life, the universe and everything.

Every morning, I stumble down the stairs, jerk open the fridge, pour some orange juice, have a muesli bar and, most important of all, finish the morning's Sudoku. Sudoku is like a crossword with numbers. Like regular bowel movement but better, and just as addictive as *******, ***** and ****. Best of all, I just found this website that's got free, unlimited puzzles both easy-peasy and tough-ass with cows in the background and a timer for competitive freaks like yours truly. Goodbye, Sydney Morning Herald.

What do green-freak environmentalists and ultra-conservative politicians have in common? They both agree that the world is fast running out of oil – the so-called ‘peak oil theory’ - and when that happens, it really will be the end of the world as we know it.

I had to do an essay on peak oil over the week and the whole thing has been scaring the shit out of me. For any of you interested, read websites like Peak Oil: Life After The Oil Crash and peakoil.org. They sound a little like crazy-nutter/conspiracy-theorist types but when my politics lecturer sends in a business prof from Macquarie University to talk to us about peak oil – and he clearly is a little freaked out about the whole thing – you know something’s a bit off.

The theory’s increasingly finding favour with scientists, geologists, oil analysts, intellectual/academic types, oil corporations and some governments (France and the US, for example). And the stats and geological evidence are all there. It basically predicts drastically declining oil reserves – and the end of our massive overdependence on cheap oil, skyrocketing oil prices (to US$300-US$400 a barrel), the collapse of transportation systems, the decimation of financial markets and currencies, clashes between governments, social upheaval and revolt etc etc. You get the general picture. Some are predicting this will happen by the next year; the more moderate types are thinking 10-20 years from now, latest.

Others say it’s complete horseshit, that it’s just another nefarious plan hatched by the big oil corps to jack up profits and by US military strategists to wave the flag and conquer other (oil-rich) territories.

Then again, I dunno. It doesn’t help that articles like this one in The New York Times (The New York Times!!) on how to prepare yourself for Armageddon (admittedly not an Armageddon related to oil, but still…) kinda make me want to lock myself up and tremble in a corner of my own underground bunker that’s stocked to the rafters with flashlights, energy bars and mineral water.

In other news, me and Mich are planning to go for Mass this Sunday. Except for the odd wedding and funeral, I haven’t been to church proper in about 11 years. I’m going not because I’m freaking out about an apocalyptic future or anything like that but because I kinda prayed for something last month and it kinda came true. How very pure-of-heart. I am NOT, however, going for confession.

Ooooo, look at it! The new iPod nano (pic from stereogum). Comes in 2GB and 4GB models; prices start at US$199. It's slightly bigger than the Shuffle and even has the click-wheel. Apple's website says it has a brilliant colour display - but, seriously, who'd want to squint at 1.5-inch album covers? Still, it's a fab piece of work. Altogether now, ooooooo...

Yesterday, an Aussie friend asked me what kind of food “Singaporeese” liked to eat. Found it quite amusing. It reminded me of that lame-ass joke from yonks before - what are the people from Hamburg called? Hamburgers. You are what you eat, you know. Cough.

Speaking of beef, just caught Oyster Farmer on the big screen. It’s an Australian film that’s lyrical, heart-felt and incredibly beautiful to watch. Case in point: Said ‘oysta’ farmer’s helper (left), Jack (Alex O’Lachlan, possibly the next James Bond). Absolutely gorgeous. A bit slack-jawed but fine, fine biceps and thighs. Rrrrrrrrrr. He can shuck this Singaporeese lass anytime.

I was flipping through the Sunday Telegraph when shock! horror! the pointy-tipped Esplanade lashed out at me between stories of stuttering Sydney teens, kangaroo meat exports and train timetables.

The ad is from the Singapore Tourism Board and is fucking hilarious.

Apologies but this is the best shot (stupid washed-out newspaper print) I could get of the copy, which reads:

An island of contrasts, Singapore is home to modern architecture marvels and historical splendour. You can't miss the Esplanade, our landmark arts centre, which is reminiscent of a durian. From avant-garde theatre to traditional Chinese opera, you'll find an abundance of art here. Mythical creatures and youthful self-expression exist in harmony. And whilst you meander along the five-foot ways in Chinatown, five-star luxury is never far away. So call your travel agent ... etc etc...

Hello, STB copywriters? Were you smoking crack? What the fuck were you guys thinking?? The Esplanade, "which is reminiscent of a durian"??? "Abundance of art"? Who says that?? "Good golly, there is such an abundance of art in Singapore; I've just been to see Dim Sum Dollies at the Esplanade, which, incidentally, my good man, is reminiscent of a durian."

I like the bit about finding "mythical creatures and youthful self-expression exist(ing) in harmony". Seen any unicorns and centaurs at The Heeren lately? The only mythical creatures blessed with youthful self-expression I know of were the Far East Kids.

On a slightly different topic, my vote for the "Hah?? Say again?" quote of the day is from British PM and erstwhile sage Tony Blair on Central China Television's political programme, Top Talk:

What they understand, they do not fear.
What they do not understand, they can fear.

- On how people in other countries needn't be afraid of China.